Chanchal observed “no difference among disciples and dharma patni” in guruji’s words. He thought, guruji can read one’s mind. He was recollecting what guruji told about sadhana practices. He thought of
implementing them immediately. He remembered what guruji told about Sri Lalitha Rahasya Nama Stotram (SLRN) (Readers may refer Part 19). Guruji told him to chant SLRN with meanings during
nighttime. Until today, he never thought of following that advice. Now, he decided to follow guruji’s words. He does not have SLRN meanings book. He went to a bookshop and enquired for the required book. Bookseller shown him many books. Chanchal confused. He thought not all books might be
authoritative. He scolded himself for not asking guruji’s advice. He thought for a while and called Purna. Purna told him four important books what guruji always suggest in the order of preference of deep concepts. He advised him to start with the basic meanings. Chanchal could find only three books. Fourth one is out of print. He thought of taking a copy from Purna.
That night after Moha slept, he convinced Akarsha for meditation. Akarsha also shown some interest for meditation. Chanchal started chanting SLRN. Once, he started chanting SLRN, thoughts started flooding
in his mind. This time he did not panic for the thoughts. He prayed guruji once and recollected what he told. Then he started catching the thoughts generating points. He was chanting SLRN inside. His mind was thinking of his boss. He told himself I would talk to him later. Surprisingly, that thought disappeared. Immediately after that, thoughts of Prema attacked his mind. He was visualizing her physique. He was
drowning in her beauty. After few minutes, he realized that he was diverting from chanting. He strongly decided to control the thoughts and started finding out thoughts generating point. In the meantime, SLRN completed. He disappointed for some time and told himself “O.K. a little progress. I will practice like this”. Then he opened a book containing meanings of SLRN. The commentary on first nama
“Srimata” is a big one. He felt interested for the first two paragraphs. After that, he felt bored and sleepy. He completed just reading of that commentary and slept.
Next day, Chancahl called Purna and shared his experience and problem. Purna advised him not to worry and keep practicing like that. That day Chanchal could do better. Like that some weeks passed. Now Chanchal could clearly differentiate thoughts and chant. He knew thoughts and chant should be synchronized. A sadhaka should raise to that state. This is the first and foremost successful step in a sadhana. This step is not so easy. Now Chanchal was reading meanings of first thirty namas of SLRN.
These namas are about gross appearance of Srimata and her encounter with Bhandasura. One night, after mantra sadhana and SLRN chanting, he studied meaning of Balaa naama of SLRN. He felt interested to read meaning of that naama since he is having that mantra. After studying of that meaning his heart filled with some unexplainable happiness. He slept by enjoying that happiness and without calling Akarsha to sleep on his side. He was in deep sleep. After some time he observed that, someone was coming towards him. Later he realized that was a girl. She was about in the age of Moha. She was in a white frock and in golden complexion. He felt that baby is Moha. He stretched his hands calling that baby “Moha” dear... come…you are looking so cute. That baby coming near to him. She held a book in her hand. He was talking to that baby…Moha are you carrying that much big book? Why are you holding that book? What is that book? That cute girl smiled. He shocked by seeing her smile. That smile was so beatific. He never saw such a heavenly smile in his previous life. He was in such a shocking state for some time. After a
while, she shown the book that she is carrying to him. That was a SLRN book with meanings. He remembered the title of the book and the author. He wanted to take her into his lap. He stretched his hands. That girl laughed slowly and disappeared. Chanchal shouted Moha…Mohaa..
Someone jolted him. He slowly opened his eyes. It was Aakarsha.
Aakarsh: What happened dear? Why are you shouting Moha..Mohaa…. Moha is here only and sleeping well.
Chanchal slowly came into the waking state. He realized that he dreamt.
Chanchal: Nothing dear. Some dream. Don’t worry. I am normal. Go and sleep. He replied her.
He looked at watch. It was morning four’O clock. He immediately completed his ablutions and regular morning sadhana. While doing sadhana he was thinking of the book shown by the girl in his dream. After sadhana, he checked the books he have. He
could not find the book he dreamt. He immediately searched google for that book. He found that book in online store. He booked a copy for him immediately. Then thought of Purna. Why Purna did not tell
me about this book? Whether does he know this book or not? Alternatively, he might deliberately avoided referring this book to me. Whether Purna is a dependable person? I neither meet guruji everytime nor call him over phone. Since Purna is near to guruji and a senior sadhaka I do calling him. Is he guiding me in right way? OK, leave about him. What a nice dream I had yesterday night. Really, it is a great dream. It seems the girl was goddess. Therefore, can I say, “I have darshan of God”. God is nothing
but Parabrahma. Parabrahma is nothing but Atma. Therefore, I have darshan of Atma. That means I am self realized. Is it right to feel like that? On the other hand, his wisdom started working. He thought, probably it may not be. If it is so there should be some change in me. I found no change in me. Hence, I think I am not self realised. But, I red some articles where some sadhakas expressed their personal experience describing this type of dreams and declared they are self realised. If they are correct, why I am not? In one hand I am feeling I got selfrealisation and another hand, I am not. What is the truth? He decided to meet the guruji.
After sometime, he got a phone call. It was Prema.
To be continued…
Can we know which are those 4 books Purna referred to Chanchal and the title that Chanchal saw in dream? I did not find any reference to the book names in Ch19.
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