There he found Aakarsha and Moha sleeping peacefully. He astonished. He thought “they are here only. Then who came to me? Certainly I felt a sense of someone there. Who might be? Is it a demon/atma (spiritual body)?” The moment he thought of a spiritual body his heart beat slightly rose. His doubt about spiritual body increased second by second. His japa procession not yet completed. He told his heart not to be scared. He went into puja room in fear only. He could not close his eyes so he completed balance japa with open eyes and rushed to bedroom immediately. He thought of sharing this with Aakarsha. But he dropped that idea. He decided to meet guruji again.
On next holiday he met guruji and narrated his experience. Then guruji said…
Guruji: This experience is very common during initial stages. You should not have opened your eyes at that time. Ninety nine percent of fledglings will open their eyes at that time due to fear/enthusiasm etc. Why do you think that is a ghost or a spiritual body? Why don’t you feel that as God? This is the classic example of people who are away from thought of God. Everyone wants to see god. But no one can identify Him if He comes near to them. If he comes you think Him as a demon/atma/ghost/a spiritual body. Since you think like that He manifests like that and appears before you in that way. “Yadbhavam tatbhavathi” This bhava is because of our sanskaras. That's why sanskaras are to be cleansed first. This can be done through bahiryaga puja. Ok, happened is happened. Don’t worry. You will not experience that again. One thing is certain. You have Srimata’s blessings.
By the way this is the time to initiate you to Panchadasi. From here you will come to know Srividya more. After getting initiated into panchadasi, you will have to learn Srichakra navavarana puja. It is very much essential for Srividyopasakas. Srichakra is abode of Srimata. All secrets about this universe are embedded in Srichakra. Your life will take different turn from this point. Getting Srividya in conventional way is very difficult to get now days. We are very much fortunate to be in conventional guru lineage. You will have to do vigorous sadhana from now. You must spend more time with me to know the concepts well. This subject is an ocean. My knowledge of Srividya is 100th fraction of a sand particle in that ocean. You will have to face a war. That is spiritual war. Your mental status will change. You may have to be away from your social life slowly. You will have to sacrifice your social life for spiritual life. Of course if you succeed in this patch, society will behind you and recognizes you as god. If not succeed Srimata will give you one more chance to reach her if not in this birth, in next birth. Remember, She never leaves Her children. So, don’t keep any fears in mind. Some people say “worshipping Goddess is very dangerous. This will happen…that will happen. Like that they will inject so much fear.” You must ignore all these useless things. Keep in mind always that “there will be a bad son but no bad mother”. A normal sadhaka is better than a non sadhaka. So don’t worry about wrong doings in sadhana. Keep on doing sadhana with clear mind. Have belief in God and guru vakya (word). This is very much essential for spiritual progress. Your object is self realization. Keep this in mind always. More importantly don’t expect any miracles or magic. In the path of self realization there is no scope for miracles. Miracles are temporary whereas truth is permanent. We need not bother about temporary things. We must starve for permanent truth that is self realization. “Satyam Jnanam Anantam Brahman”.
Guruji fixed the time for initiating Chanchal to maha mantra - Panchadasi. More about Srividya to come now.
To be continued...
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